Fear

If I could find the words to describe where I'm at, I probably wouldn't be writing here. But then again, maybe I would. I'm not sure. One thing I've been thinking about more and more lately is how to commit myself fully to God and give up all the ways of my past. I still struggle with things of my past and I'm sick of it. I wish I could simply but it all behind me where it belongs and move on...but why can't I? I need to get down to the depths of things. Down to what is really bugging me. I think I know what it is without having to delve too much into situations.

Fear.

I'm afraid of my uncertainty. I'm afraid of not knowing what the future has in store for me. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid I'm not a good enough Christian. I'm afraid of not being able to serve God as I'm supposed to. I'm afraid. I want to put these fears behind me and live with comfort that God will provide for me but it isn't going to be easy. I suppose all I can do is pray, request prayers, and keep moving forward trying to see opportunities to serve God along the way.